A few days ago, my husband and I brought home our very first baby from the hospital. Although these are exciting times for us as a new family, I also have fears that I may not do all the things I should to ensure our baby develops to his full potential. Are there any credible resources online that will help me?
You are certainly one of many new mothers who realize what a privilege it is to have a new baby at home. At the same time, we read a lot about the importance of the first three years of a baby's life. There is indeed a fine resource online, www.zerotothree.org, which is exclusively dedicated to help parents do their best in terms of early brain development.
I have found this to be a reliable, research-based project. It is also endorsed by the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) - something that does not happen easily, given the Academy has a fine reputation to protect. At a time when we are increasingly aware of saving trees by using less paper and delivering more services electronically, this site has much to offer.
The site offers handouts for parents which tells them what to expect at different ages (see www.zerotothree.org/age-basedhandouts). The stages are broken down into: birth to 3 months; 3 to 6 months; 6 to 9 months; 9 to 12 months; 12 to 15 months; 15 to 18 months; 18 to 24 months; 24 to 30 months; and 30 to 36 months.
During the first three months babies learn to feel comfortable, safe, and secure. It is important for parents to know how to respond to the many signals babies offer at this time. For example, when a baby cries it may take a while to figure out if the cry is related to hunger, pain, fear, or frustration. Soothing is a trial and error process, but after awhile with plenty of practice many parents become skilled (some become so skilled they may be known as baby whisperers). At this stage many mothers have to return to work; this resource also tells moms what to look for when choosing a high quality child-care center.
The next three months are an important time for a baby to push himself up, try to sit, use hands and fingers to explore, and to communicate sounds. Sleeping and eating schedules become more regular. At this point, there are some things parents can do to help the baby develop optimally: establish a regular routine, have back and forth conversations, encourage her to explore objects, tell stories, read books, and even sing to the baby or play Mozart CDs (see www.mozarteffect.com for more details).
At 18 to 24 months language development becomes very important. It is important to build the child’s vocabulary through repetition, talking often, and reading books. At this stage, a stage that may seem to be truly the "terrible twos", parents need much patience. In fact, experts tell us that parents may deal with challenging behaviors in their toddlers every 3 to 9 minutes.
At each of these stages, there are resources telling parents what the baby can do, what parents can do, and where to put the spotlight, meaning where to focus most of the energies to help development progress at the right pace. For example, the spotlight at age one should be on responding to a baby's play time appropriately. How parents
respond to a one year old during playtime matters very much. In fact, the better parents respond, the better their child’s language skill is two years later at the age of three!
Other examples of spotlight times are at 12 to 15 months old when the focus is on the child's temperament. As the toddler gets older the focus should shift to developing problem solving skills. For example, when a toddler tips over a sippy cup, he is trying to see how to make the liquid come out as opposed to deliberately trying to irritate a parent! Between 24 and 30 months the spotlight could be on learning to use the toilet, and between 30 and 36 months it can be on making friends as another important milestone.
On www.zerotothree.org there is also a section on children who have parents in the military. Children of men and women in the military are vulnerable to additional challenges: a parent who is often away from home for protracted times and, sadly, a parent who may return home injured. As a result, there are fewer opportunities to focus on maximizing a child's development.
Not all experts agree that the first three years are critical in terms of optimal brain and neurological development. Opponents to this concept fear that it may induce guilt in some parents or give them the idea that the rest of a child's life depends on what happens in the first three years of life.
As is the case so often, balancing the two extreme views - everything hinges on the first three years versus let the child follow his or her own pace and get in sync with that - may be the most logical way to handle this sensitive topic.
One last reminder: one may stimulate the brain in the first three years of life in various ways, but never underestimate the value of breastfeeding for as long as possible (at least for 6-12 months). Moms who breastfeed but avoid eating fish for whatever reason should be reminded to take DHA (omega three) supplements daily. For more information on the importance of these supplements in terms of brain and eye development, see www.DHAomega3.org.
Access www.healthykids.ca for a terrific new resource in helping families raise healthy children - HealthyKids with Dr. Nieman will optimize your child's complete health.
An informed parent is ... an empowered parent.